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Why It’s So Hard For Strong Women To Ask For Help

Holistic Wellness Blog

Guiding you to Inner Peace & Soul Confidence.

You’re leaving your best friend’s house, walking to your car with a few armloads of stuff. Her husband offers to help you with the load and you say “No, I’ve got it! Thanks!”


You’re struggling to carry everything, your arm hurts, you’re about to drop your keys, but you still declined the kind offer. Why? 


Why wouldn’t you just say “Yes, I would love some help!”


Why It’s Hard For Strong Women To Ask For Help:


Taught To Be Independent 

We don’t want to be a burden for others. We have been taught: 

  • Be strong
  • Don’t be weak
  • Take care of our own stuff
  • Carry our own weight 
  • Don’t be needy


We feel like we will lose our sense of control if we rely on someone else.

This type of conditioning from society has created a fear of asking for help even when it will make our lives EASIER. 

Not wanting to seem weak or needy can turn a  problem into a crisis.


Women Are Nurturers

This is just another story of how society has thrown us into a box. Are women nurturers? Sure. I love that part of myself, but this has been a delegated task for generations. 

It is okay to nurture your loved ones when the giving and receiving are balanced and harmonious.


Never Taught How To Ask For Help 

Maybe we really want to ask for help but we just aren’t sure how to do that because we were never taught how. 


Have you ever felt stupid, unworthy, unlovable, or uneducated because you didn’t know the answer to something? 

I have noticed that many women with low self-esteem also struggle with the fear of rejection.

Being told no is actually not a bad thing, it is a sign of progress. It is important to re-frame the emotions around this story.

Working to build your self-esteem will help you overcome these feelings of inadequacy. Asking for help is a sign of intelligence. No one in the world knows the answer to everything. 


They Should Know I Need Help

Most people are not psychic. They cannot read exactly what you need or how specifically they can best help you. It is not realistic to expect people to help you without first asking them for what you need. 

We might experience feelings of rejection if we are close to someone and they are not noticing our needs. 

Is there a part of me that is resistant to asking for help?


Energy Drainer

If you are an introvert or an empath, it might be more draining to ask someone for help.

Asking someone for help means that we have to discuss the details with them and answer all of their questions. 

If you are already dealing with a challenging situation, it may be more energetically draining to call someone else in. 


Abusing Privilege

For Empaths and lightworkers, it might be difficult to ask for help because we don’t want to use more resources than we feel we “need” or “deserve”. 

Are you convincing yourself that you have it easier than others and you shouldn’t ask for help? This is a self-worth challenge.


Fear Of Debt

With the universal law of Reciprocity, we fear to be in debt to someone. 

When you ask for help, don’t promise them an “IOU”. If you need anything, just ask for help. Receive the help and then after, if you feel inspired- send them a thank you card.

Remember, most people love to help! 


Fear Of Judgment

The majority of Eastern society is based on perfectionism and shaming. Asking someone else for help is a sign of vulnerability. 

If you have felt unsafe to be vulnerable in the past, you might have an internal block. 


Why we should ask for help


People Want To Help

Most people love the feeling of helping someone else. It is rewarding and satisfying to be able to give someone something that they need, especially when they have clearly asked you for it. 

Men especially love when you are clear about your needs. 

(Most) People Can’t Read Your Mind

We can’t expect people who have yet to tap into their telepathic capabilities to read our minds, unfortunately. 

If we want someone to help us, we have to ask them by telling them CLEARLY what we need. Don’t be shy, that doesn’t help anyone. 


No One Will Judge You

Don’t worry about people judging or not liking you. Everyone needs help at some point in their life. People can only judge us if we give them permission. 

If someone judges us for needing help, it is because they are projecting their personal perspective of themselves onto us. We are worthy of as much help as we need. 


Unmet Needs For Attention Manifest As Dis-ease

You read that right. When we need attention that we are not receiving, it can manifest as dis-ease in our bodies. Physical manifestations of dis-ease come from suppressing our emotions for too long. 

It takes self-awareness and courage to accept being imperfect and ask for help. Most of us are not taught how to be sympathetic or gentle with ourselves.

We ALL require rest and help. There is nothing shameful or wrong with needing help. We must listen to our bodies to take care of ourselves. 


Successful people know how to ask for help. 

“The only stupid question is no question at all.”


How to ask for help


Be Direct

Clear is kind. People don’t like when they feel like their time is wasted. Use as few words as possible. Don’t beat around the bush. Be concise and direct about your needs. 


Rely On Reliable People

Use your knowledge about someone and your intuition to determine if they are the person that you should ask. Don’t ask someone who is a constant flake or doesn’t seem to care about your needs.


Ask In Person

If possible, ask the person face to face. Asking in text can seem inauthentic and you might send the wrong message because you lack the extra element of expression when you are someone’s physical presence.

Yes, it may be more challenging for you to do it this way, but when you feel that fear and do it anyways- you are growing!


Notice Their Reaction

Are They excited or reluctant? You are clear, kind, concise, and direct, yet you feel like the person isn’t too excited to help. Give them a second to think about it before you abort the mission. 

If they are still hesitant or reluctant, just tell them it is okay! You will 100% be able to find the right person to help you. Just don’t give up. 


Say Thank You

Express your gratitude. If you have the habit of frequently apologizing- please don’t do that. Just tell them how appreciative you are. Give thanks when they agree to help you, while they are helping you, and when they have finished helping you. 


Give Details

When asking for help, give the person details so that they can help you as best as they can. Vulnerability is a super power. 


Tell Them Why You Chose Them To Help You 

People love to hear positive reflections of themselves. Offer them insight into why you chose them specifically to help you with the task at hand. This makes the other person feel even better about themselves and might make them want to help you more. 


Join us on July 19th at 7:30 PM CST for a Goddess New Moon Ceremony 

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  • Soul Connection
  • Intention Setting
  • Powerful Manifestation 
  • Meditation
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6 Simple Ways To Achieve Soul Confidence

Holistic Wellness Blog

Guiding you to Inner Peace & Soul Confidence.

6 Simple Ways To Achieve Soul Confidence

What Is Soul Confidence? 

Soul Confidence is a deep internal knowing and loving. It is a level of respect and admiration for the truest and most authentic version of yourself. Soul Confidence is the emotional stability to walk into any situation and express your truth without fearing how others might respond. There is no ego involved in Soul Confidence, it is a pure state of self-awareness. 


A woman with Soul Confidence takes great care of herself spiritually, mentally, physically, and energetically. She is confident in her truths and unafraid to share them. She trusts the messages that she is receiving from her body and heart. 


Soul Confidence is the state where you aren’t afraid to stand out or learn something. You are not afraid to be different or “weird”, because you know your purpose.  


We are all born with Soul Confidence. When we are born, we are close to the spiritual realm that we came from. (We come from a source much greater than us). Before we are exposed to challenges, we have a clear understanding that we are divine and here for a purpose. We know that we are children of GUS (God, Universe, Spirit)


How Do We Lose Soul Confidence?


Since we are born with Soul Confidence, what happens to it? Where did we lose the deep authentic self love and confidence along the way? 


  • Most people are not taught how to connect deeply.
  • We are taught language, but we are not taught how to communicate our emotions OR love ourselves deeply. 
  • We are not taught about how to recognize and express our needs and desires. 
  • We are also not taught that we can have whatever we want. Especially now that we are moving into a more feminine world. (EXCITING!)


We slowly begin losing our Soul Confidence over time because of things that we hear and see. We might have a seemingly insignificant interaction with our parents when we are young that causes us to feel like we are “not enough” in some way. 


Maybe a someone we like tells us that we aren’t pretty.


Perhaps someone tells you that you do not look good in a certain piece of clothing.


That can be enough to spiral you into a state of low self-worth. 


Because we are not taught how to cultivate and maintain Soul Confidence, we shove that negative feeling way way down and we begin trying to fit into this image of what we think will make others happy. 


With access to the internet, we now see so many people’s lives and feel like if we-


  • Have what they have
  • Do what they do
  • Look how they look


Then we will be lovable. 


The problem here is, you are already lovable! You have always been, and always will be lovable. Even the most weird and quirky thing about you! There is nothing that you can buy, wear, or do that will change the fact that you are a perfectly imperfect creation of SOURCE ENERGY. 


How Can We Cultivate Soul Confidence? 


The more comfortable you are with YOU, the more people will naturally be attracted to you.  People can sense when you are being authentic because you will wear a different kind of glow


When we are deeply loving ourselves and showing up how we feel most comfortable, people will want to know how we are doing it! 


“Why is she so comfortable and confident!?”  


1. Stop Worrying About What Other People Think Of You

This one is #1 for a reason. It was the most challenging thing for me to embody. I love making people happy, and I love when people like me. It doesn’t feel good to not be liked. 


The trick is, know who’s opinion to care about, and forget the rest. 

Make a list of people who you admire. People who have achieved a lifestyle that you wish to achieve. Look at all areas of their lives. 

If you are still trying to live up to your parents expectations, but you don’t like where your parents are in life- you are going to stay in a circle of mind-fuckery. You can’t impress someone who 


 A) You don’t want to impress 

B) Isn’t “Impressible” because they don’t even know what the hell THEY want. AMIRIGHT?

Where do you want to be? Who is someone that IS where you want to be? Would they approve of the way you are living? What steps do you need to take to align with your dreams? 

2. Resolve Traumas 

Soul Confidence comes from resolving traumas and triggers that block you from authentically expressing yourself. If you are lacking Self-Confidence, it is because at one point in your journey you felt unsafe to be you. That’s traumatic. 

Can you think of a time when you felt unsafe being yourself? 


You can start healing these wounds by writing a letter to the part of yourself that is hurting. Tell her what she needs to hear. Comfort her. Love her deeply. Make her feel safe to be herself. 

3. Making great decisions in each moment.

Each moment is an opportunity. It is imperative to give responsibility to the future. When you are in the present moment, giving responsibility to your future self- meaning, making the best decisions for the future you- you will increase your confidence because it feels GOOD to make the right decision, ESPECIALLY when it is not the easy decision.



 4. Fail Fast. Fail Forward. Fail Often.

Recreate your relationship with failure. What are your beliefs around failure? Are you afraid to fail? Why? What would happen if you failed? What will happen if you don’t try? 

When we feel self-conscious, we can get paralyzed from opinions or outcomes. If you never try, you will never learn. Furthermore, if you never learn, you will never succeed

Failure is necessary for growth. There is not a single soul on this planet that has achieved their personal idea of success without failing first. 


 5. Get Clear On What You Stand For

Do you know what you stand for? What are your core values? What are your principles? (these are two different things)

Write down your core values and principles. Make a list of things that you REALLY care about. Get to know yourself. Start exploring ideas and concepts that you feel deeply passionate about. 

When we aren’t clear on who we are, it makes it challenging to stand up for what you believe in. Make a clear “I am” statement. 


 6. Take Great Care Of Yourself

How can we expect others to respect us if we don’t respect ourselves? Consciously observe each activity that you give energy to. Refer to your list of principles. Note EVERYTHING that you consume. Be it food, TV, literature, music, partners, etc. 

Notice every aspect of life and change the areas that make you feel unhappy. 

When someone has a deep level of Soul confidence, they are grounded in their truth. She will feel so sure of herself that she shares what is on her mind. She is not afraid to say something that is wrong because she is excited to learn. She knows that she can change her mind as new information comes in. 

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Managing Your Anxiety In Uncertain Times

Conscious Leadership

Spiritual Wellness & Conscious Leadership Resources

Managing Your Anxiety In Uncertain Times


Here are some of the ways that I am keeping my vibration high and the fear at bay during this worldwide transition phase. Also, as we welcome the pollen. (I have a stuffy nose & have presumed I am dying at least 10 times already. Ha.)

As a lightworker, it is a crucial time for us to be conscious of everything that is affecting our energy. This means getting really good at being mindful of yourself and everything that is happening in your body. What is happening when you begin to feel anxious? 

We have to maintain our former rituals and routines AS WELL AS create newly updated rituals as the universe shifts and transitions into a new reality.

#1 Have The Courage To Trust Your Inner Knowing

You are a divine creature. There is nothing more powerful than the GOD CONSCIOUSNESS within you. You have source energy within. Tap into this wise inner-knowing and trust what is coming through!

#2 Have Compassion When Fear Creeps In 

Your fear or anyone else’s- including your animals. We are all shedding different layers of our egos. Help your people out when the fear is creeping in and allow them to do the same for you. Show compassion and empathy when you or someone else is feeling scared. All low vibrations stem from fear. 

#3 Accept The New Reality 

There is only the present moment. This is all happening at one time. There is only NOW. This is the only reality that you need to know. Release attachment to the way things “should be” and begin exploring how sweet it is in the present moment. There is MUCH less to worry about. 


#4 Meditating More 

Stop making excuses. You can’t skip this step on the journey to happiness. Grounding and happiness come from knowing thyself. You must go internal and silence the noise in order to calm your body and get to know yourself. 

We meditate before there is a difficult situation in order to create a pocket of peace for us to return to throughout the day. Remember how good you feel when you finish meditating. This will keep you coming back. 


#5 Taking Social Media Detox’s 

Social media has a tendency to make us feel like we are not worthy enough. We see these glimpses into other people’s lives and think that their lives look like that all the time. We can’t look like that all of the time, so we begin developing these little fears of inadequacy. Spend time in nature and away from the screen. 


#6 Journal and Reflect

Explore the information that you are consuming. Explore the experiences that you had throughout your day and what they meant to you. Did you meet the mark? Did you get distracted and procrastinate? Did you beat yourself up about it?

Reflect on the all of the experiences without judgment. 


#7 Set Clear Intentions 

You can’t have what you won’t ask for. Be clear on what you want and vocalize it as often as you can. If you intend to meditate more, tell someone that will hold you accountable. Write it down and affirm to yourself and the universe that you are going to make it happen. 

Be clear about your intentions in each segment of your life. When you wake up and begin your morning routine, set an intention. And again when you begin moving into your workload, set a clear intention.


#8 Listen Deeply

As a lightworker, we want to do things to empower and raise the vibrations of others (when we are on full ourselves). Don’t engage in drama. Simply hold space by not saying too much. Ask more questions and stop sharing your experience to connect. It is a self-defense mechanism when you try to find any way to connect so that the person will like you. Release the need for them liking you. They will likely enjoy you more because you feel more authentic.

#9 Creating Inspired Content/Art 

Follow your highest inspiration in each moment. What lights you up? Get out of your own way and start creating. Don’t worry about the outcome. Focus on enjoying the process.

#10 Tea Ceremonies As A Defense

I have acquired a taste for tea. Now I love to have tea ceremonies. I light a candle, play some binaural beats, and sip my hot tea. This gives me a mindless task to engage in while I allow my mind to settle down. I am also washing any potential threat in my throat down with the warm liquid. 

#11 Yoga and Movement

I love yoga because it is challenging for me. I am easily triggered by certain positions to the point that it takes my mind away from all of my worries. When I finish my yoga practice, I realize how calm, centered, and balanced I am. 

Connect to your breath through movement. It’s not just a trending fad, it is a practice that leads to fulfillment and joy.


These are just a few ways that I am creating patience, compassion, love to defend myself from the drama, chaos, and fear. If you are seeking support in finding confidence and clarity, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I am looking forward to talking to you.


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10 Ways To Be A Leader During Social Distancing

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10 Ways To Be A Leader During Social Distancing


This blog is intuitive information that resonates as truth with me. I am sharing a few ways that you can stay grounded, but most importantly- You are a conscious leader. The world needs us right now. This is how we can rise up and lead with love. 

We know that there is a virus. Do not being so naive to believe that this is not real, or that it is like the common cold. This virus is brand new and does not have a cure as of yet. It is taking lives and it is spreading rapidly. That is the reality.

Hospitals are not prepared for something this catastrophic. There are limited supplies. 

I personally am not concerned about my own health. I take great care of myself and I am going to share the steps I am taking. Please don’t assume that you are safe because you are young and healthy. It is not only about you. You can carry this virus a-symptomatic for up to 5 days. Don’t be selfish. Take consideration and do what you can to prevent this from spreading. 


The Most Important Thing During This Time Is To Vibrate Above the Drama. 

There is something obviously happening and it is lowering the vibration of the entire world at once. We need to focus on the nature aspect of this virus. People are going to die, but we can prevent the spread of this. It doesn’t have to be as bad as it COULD be, but we have to start acting like it is serious, because it is. Take the steps to keep your vibration as high as you can.

Drama is anything that is not the truth. Be mindful of the misinformation that you are spreading. (Read more on raising your vibration)

There are elderly people that don’t have to go into public. This will reduce their chances of being infected and possibly facing death. 


Being Prepared Is Not Being Paranoid

We can prepare in so many ways. I will tell you personally, I feel that I am paranoid. Perhaps I am just prepared. I don’t know if it’s the military conditioning, the PTSD from childhood trauma, or legitimate concerns? Maybe it was the scary quarantine movies? Who knows…. But, I personally am preparing by taking these steps: 



#1 Washing My Hands More Than Ever. 

I am taking this seriously. I am washing EVERYTHING. I am using the high percent sanitizing spray on anything that I have to touch. I am using Clorox wipes and disinfecting spray on the frequently touches places in my home and office.  I am using soap and hot water and washing up to my elbows every time that I wash my hands. I am also sending loving-kindness (Metta) each time I wash. 


#2 Using Oils

I am not sure if people are using Clorox wipes on their hands, but hopefully, you know that is not effective or good for you. The chemicals are actually removing good bacteria that you need to protect you from viruses. Tea tree oil is antiviral. While there is no evidence that I have found that supports tea tree oil killing COVID-19, I still believe that it is helpful in raising my vibration. I am applying it to my hands, belly button, feet, neck, and pashmina. I am also using lavender because it is calming. 


#3 Meditating More

I am a pretty avid meditator. This recent virus, in addition to my course launch, has made me feel called to meditating more. I am meditating in the morning and at night. Actually, I will be going live every night at 9 PM CST hosting a worldwide peace meditation until this is over in effort to raise the vibration of the world. 


#4 Going Slow

It is super important to pay attention to what the world is doing. During different seasons, we feel called to react a certain way. For example, in the winter, we often feel reclusive and reflective. In the spring, we feel refreshed, renewed, and creative.

The season of this virus is calling us to go slow. It is challenging us to go inward and notice discomfort. It is also challenging us to come together as a community and support one another. Take the message, slow down. 


#5 Not Panicking

Kinda speaking this one into existence, honestly. I am not freaking out by any means, but I am certainly on edge. The virus has a lot of my attention and energy, so I am just doing what I can to keep my energy high and to remember that this is NOT the only thing that is happening in the world right now. 

Panicking isn’t going to do anything but lower your vibration and make you more susceptible to contracting the virus. I know it is going to be incredibly challenging for you to just “stay calm” if you haven’t been practicing mindfulness ALREADY… just do what you can. Remember to breathe. Also remember that no matter what, this life is temporary. Nothing real can ever be destroyed. 


#6 Staying In As Much As I Can

We have been informed that it is best for us to practice social distancing. I don’t think that this is a bad thing. It certainly doesn’t have to be. We can use this as an opportunity to deepen our connections in a different way, considering most people weren’t practicing actual connection before this pandemic. 


Staying in doesn’t mean you can’t communicate, show compassion, and be courageous. Maybe you use this time to go live on your Facebook for the first time and share how you are feeling called to be a leader. What are you doing to keep your vibration high?  


#7 Eating Healthy Nutrients 

Eating healthy is not a temporary or short term thing. This is a lifestyle that becomes easy when you have a clear “why”. If you are only trying to live up to someone else’s standards, a healthy diet will not be high on your list of priorities.

If you are practicing self-care and deeply loving yourself, your nutrition habits will automatically fall into place. You will not even consider eating the same way that you used to when you were unconscious.

It’s easy to ignore what you are consuming when you are ignoring everything else as well. As soon as you start to pay attention- everything becomes more and more clear. YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. You DON’T need to eat animals with every meal, or ever really. 

Consuming the trauma that animals are experiencing before their brutal murder is causing disease. Believe it or not, I don’t care. I choose not to eat tortured animals because of my own spiritual practices. 

I am also drinking ginger and tumeric shots and celery juice. 

#8 Not Touching My face Or Others 

Obviously your facial cavities are where you contract the virus. Not touching your face reduces your risk of contracting the virus. Simple, don’t touch your face. If you aren’t up for this level of discipline, do what you would do to a child. Use gloves or some type of reminder on your hands or face to keep you from touching it.

Maybe we all just need cones. Hehe. 


#9 Practicing Distant Social Connection

“They” (whoever they are) are telling us to practice social distancing. I am all for this because I need a retreat anyways. However, I know that it is a crucial time for conscious leaders to rise up and be influencing others. We don’t need to be in-person to make this impact. We can do this from the comfort of our own homes in many ways. 


We can make 

  • Videos
  • Blogs
  • Podcasts
  • Art

We are conscious enough to know that panicking is not going to serve us. Only 10-15% (at the maximum) of the world is currently consciously creating and manifesting. That’s not a whole lot of people. That means that the other 90-85% is unconscious. I don’t know if those numbers are completely accurate, but they seem close to me. 

Keep yourself at a safe distance (6 feet) from others until this virus is better understood. 


#10 Surround Yourself With Positive People

This is a crucial time to keep your vibrations high and your risk low. Conscious Leadership Course is a 6-week ONLINE Course to assist you in shattering your limiting beliefs and confidently embody heart-centered leadership. This would be the perfect course to keep you mentally well during this difficult time. 

Meeting with a group of other high vibe individuals will keep your attention on something better than this damn virus. 

We can beat this. We can come together and assist others in raising their vibration and consciousness. We are united. I am here for you. If you are ready to enroll from a place of inspiration (NOT FEAR) then let’s fucking go. I am ready to start sending you the work. 

Let’s make something amazing of this extremely challenging transition period. 


Do what you can,

whatever that looks like for you. I plan to go live on one of my social media platforms every night and hold space for meditation. I want others to see the actual steps that I am taking to be a conscious leader. 

You can be a conscious leader as well. You already are one. How can you transmute this energy into positivity? 

I encourage you to keep a list of things you are grateful for, as well as a list of the good that is coming from this situation, even if they are difficult to find. 

NOTHING REAL CAN BE DESTROYED. No matter what, your life is temporary. I don’t mean to scare you, but I hope that you see that this life is temporary and it is important to enjoy it while we are here. 


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Align With Your Higher Self Today

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Align With Your Higher-Self After Your Awakening

Over the next 30 days, I am going to be releasing videos sharing with you the steps that I took to reach the clarity and confidence in leadership that I have personally achieved. 


This week our focus is 

How To Align With Your Higher-Self After Your Awakening


The free tool that I have included is intended for you to implement into your experience and create results TODAY. 


If this sounds amazing to you, don’t forget to hit that subscribe button and receive these updates weekly.  


Read to the end for your free downloadable resource! 


So, you’ve had a sudden shift in consciousness. You may have recognized that we seem to have a lot more compassion, empathy, and understanding of the universe than some others. We want to help others, but we also want to make money doing what we love. 


How do we get to powerful, conscious, heart-centered leadership without stepping on others? That is what I am going to teach you in these next 30-days.


You likely just realized that there are some things in your life that are out of alignment with what you desire. You want to have X, but you are stuck in Y and don’t know which way is up.


How do you get where you want to be? 


In these next 30 days, you are going to learn all of the exact steps that I took to achieve a deep sense of peace and fulfillment that I have now. 


In my last video, I went over the four major milestones in my conscious leadership coaching model. Now, I am going to break this stuff down in a simple and easily digestible manner, so that you can begin implementing it into your life today. 


The first major milestone is 

The burning desire for change


By the time my clients come to me, they are already here. 


They have proclaimed that they are not sure of the next steps that they should take, and it is why they are ready and eager to begin working with me. 


So the most important thing in your life right now, above all else: should be answering the question: 


“What do I want?”


Your ego will come up with a quick answer, or maybe your ego blocks you for a length of time from what your answer might be. Your human design affects how you respond to questions like this. Knowing what your human design is can help you understand yourself on a deeper level and gain clarity on how you make decisions.


If you know that you want to make an impact, but you aren’t sure where to start: Start with yourself. 

Take inventory of your current circumstances. 


Click here to download this free tool to take inventory of all of the things, habits, and beliefs that you currently have and ask yourself what is no longer serving you. What can you release? 

What are you carrying around that is not yours? 

Are you committed to setting it down or is your ego convincing you that you need to hold on to it? 


Okay, so we went over the first step that you can take in your journey of reaching your own personal success leadership: taking radical inventory of your life. 


Don’t underestimate the power of this tool. We have been taught to ask ourselves the wrong kind of questions. 


We need to ask ourselves empowering questions. This will be covered in an upcoming episode.


If you are looking for further support, I would love to have you in my private Facebook group for conscious leaders with similar values and morals. Come evolve, explore, and empower. 


Click to be directed to our


FB: Conscious leaders. 



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4 Steps To Heart-Centered Leadership

4 Steps To Heart-Centered Leadership

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4 steps to Heart-centered leadership 


In this blog, I am going to share the four steps I took to go from an unconscious and angry addict to a heart-centered leader.


#1 The first milestone was the burning desire for change

Life started pretty rough for me. I was sexually molested from age 3-11 . From this trauma, I developed extreme anger, fear of intimacy, and codependency. After enlisting in the Military, I also developed a painful addiction to drugs and alcohol. 


I hit rock bottom when I came home to a rat-infested house in the ghetto that had just been broken into and robbed, to receive a SNAP CHAT that said: “Carlos is dead”.


After an immense amount of suffering, this snap chat was the final straw. I had a shift in consciousness. I knew that this wasn’t all there was to life, and I was meant for more. 


It was like I could finally see the world for what it truly was. There was life in everything. 


I wanted more but I had no funking clue where to start. 


Which brings me to milestone 2. 

Learning how to shift. 


I had to own the fact that I had no idea what I was doing. I was sure good at acting like I knew what I was doing, which was funking great because as it turns out: if you’re acting like you’re doing it…….. YOU’RE ACTUALLY DOING IT! 


I started going really fast in many directions. I failed about ten business launches. From selling on amazon to fitness training. Ziali yoga was a bust considering I knew nothing about yoga. 


I was headed in the right DIRECTIONS, but I needed clarity on what I actually wanted. I finally decided to commit to something. I knew I wanted to teach. I have always wanted to be a teacher. (And a marine biologist, and a lawyer, and a journalist, and a unicorn trainer as my father would say.)


It was his dream for me to settle down with a rich doctor and become a nurse. The universe and my free-will having ass had other plans. 


This walks me right into the third major milestone in my journey: 

Awakening to personal truth and vision. 


With this new clarity, all I knew was that I had a lot of work to do. I was seeking refuge at this point. I needed ANYONE to care about me (including myself). 


When I was in the army, I found meditation and loved it. I googled Buddhism in KC and found temple Buddhist center on the plaza, which I now call my home and center for spiritual nourishment. 


I kept going each week despite how uncomfortable it made me. 


One morning, a beautiful and delicate older woman named Macha said to me: “Good morning Whitney” (I have told this story a million times over, and still get tears in my eyes typing about this amazing memory. Macha is an angel.)


That was it. That was all it took for me to decide that I was going to get everything together. I wouldn’t drink or do drugs anymore. 


I had a few slip-ups after that, but each time it wasn’t like “WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING!?”


I had compassion. I just kept building momentum in mindfulness. I told myself that it was okay that I made a mistake, but I wasn’t going to go easy on myself if I was tempted to do it again. 


I removed all temptations. I committed to doing shadow work. 


I had a huge fear of my masculine energy because I have hurt so many people in my past when I was in a toxic, unconscious, masculine energy. 


I am still doing the work. I am still learning to love my intensity. Now, instead of reacting when I feel anger, I just sit with it. I can feel it in my body, and within a matter of seconds, it passes. 


Meditation and mindfulness is a practice. There is always more to learn and ways to surrender deeper. 


I declared my personal truth and vision and began deeply embodying all that I saw for myself. 


I enhanced my energy by releasing all that wasn’t mine. 


Which brings me right to milestone 4. The final major milestone that I have hit in my journey. 


Creating my core principles and aligned action plan. 

25 years. That is how long I was unconsciously trusting and creating. There were a lot of paradigms that needed to be shattered. 


There were beliefs that I had and still have that were so ingrained in my mind, that I have to consciously choose to release them every day. 


I learned to surrender. I created a clear list of values, principles, and commitments to myself and now, I live by this document. I review it each day and I am committed to being the woman that is on that paper. 


I have been teaching hundreds of leaders like you how to do exactly what I just said. This isn’t rocket science, you just have to be willing to put in the work. I just gave you the steps. You can write those down and pursue them. 


If you are looking for further support, I would love to have you in my private Facebook group for conscious leaders with similar values and morals. Come evolve, explore, and empower. 


Click to be directed to our tribe:

FB: Conscious leaders. 



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Is leadership calling to you?

I am excited to hear about your journey. Let me know season of life you are in and how I can support you. 

Reach Whitney